The Bone Orchard ♥ Sara A. Mueller

Published March 2022 ♥ Published by Tor Books

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Thoughts I had while reading The Bone Orchard by Sara A. Mueller

The Bone Orchard was one of those books that ended up on my shelves because of the vibes. I started reading before I actually read the synopsis. I do that. That’s all. Skip ahead to my Final Thoughts if you want to avoid possible spoilers. 

1. A gentleman’s club with boneghosts? Weird. 
2. This is fucking peculiar af. 
3. Growing bodies for personalities is brilliant. 
4. That’s quite the number of wives the Emperor has had. 
5. Poisoned by one of your sons eh? If Charm has to solve this murder someone should let her know that poison is the tool of women. 
6. Aerlesa has an interesting moniker, The Butcher. Towns people don’t seem to want him around tho. Shame. 
7. Prince Luther the Traitor. No wonder the Emperor didn’t want his kids taking the crown with these kinds of nicknames. 
8. Can’t wait to find out more about this mindlock shit. 
9. Prince Phaelan is one world class piece o’shit. 
10. Need to know more about The Lady. Is she the OG mind in the Mistress Charm?
11. So this mindlock thing just keeps them from telling secrets? Makes these Firedrinkers, which I’m assuming is just a fancy name for guardsmen, do their masters bidding? Their master being the Emperor? 
12. Who is The Lady’s father? And why was he so interested in who her lover was? 
13. So these Firedrinkers are just mindless clones? And Captain Oram can mind hop from one to the other? 
14. So not exactly like a clone, do they have families? 
15. That’s two people now concerned for Lord Fergus’ life. 
16. Pride and Shame are from before Orchard House. I think maybe Pain came after Orchard House.. 
17. I wonder if The Lady is the survivor of Aerleas’ attack on Inshil. 
18. Desire must have been born in the aftermath of Prince Luther being named a traitor. 
19. From Pain’s description of Mr. Ostander, our mindlock inventor, I’m going to pretend he’s Dr. Finklestein from The Nightmare Before Christmas. 
20. So Prince Strephon wants to reap all of his father’s rewards. First the wife, and now the Mistress Charm. Seriously, what kind of man wants his daddy’s left overs?
21. Why dispose of the Prince who killed the Emperor when you can dispose of them all? 
22. No children for Pain’s Firedrinkers then. 
23. So The Lady’s real name is Charmaine? Why is it Charm always at the forefront? Is anyone even aware of The Lady’s existence? (23%)
24. So the Major Nathair and The Duchess of Maderley are the same person? Interesting. Now I’m even more confused. I thought the Major was on the “good side” while The Duchess was on the “bad side”. 
25. Oh shit. Charm’s house had been The Major Duchess’s home prewar. 
26. Double oh shit. The Major Duchess saved Charm in the war. Er, Shame. If this book goes towards bang town, my vote is on Charm & The Major Duchess. 
27. So without the mindlock, these psychics ago mad, insane, rage out what have you. But not all of them have a mindlock. 
28. This is interesting af. Pride and Shame both bore witness to The Butcher. Whatever was going on in Inshil prewar must have caused The Lady to snap and shed these boneghosts. 
29. Oh, oh that was some fucked up shit going on in Inshil. This book is brilliant. 
30. So is the mindlock in place more to keep The Lady in check than Charm? I wonder what other psychic gifts The Lady has?
31. These two are gonna be sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. 
32. Idk which one of these princely brothers disgusts me more. 
33. Fergus is going to get himself killed for sure. Being sly is not in his skill set. 
34. I’m concerned Pain won’t get a happily ever after with Captain Oram. Also, who was his dad? Aerleas? Was the lady who told him to go the Major Duchess?
35. What is Prince Luther up to anyway? Weirdo. 
36. These mindlocks are interesting af. (34%)
37. Ah, I never noticed the boneghosts were not eating. That was dumb of me. Obvious af and slipped me by. 
38. Shots fired. No lies, these poor Firedrinkers. And Pain. That poor little boneghost. 
39. Charm is starting to go bananas. 
40. Good for little Miss Justice. You fucking tell her you little boneghost you. 
41. I wonder if The Lady or Charm will win out here. Charm is slipping, but The Lady is not fit for Orchard House. 
42. I don’t trust this Countess Seabrough or her Empress.  (46%)
43. Poor Desire. The Lady complains about Charm while she shedded these little boneghosts and cast them aside like old socks. 
44. Ah so The Lady’s got daddy issues. This shits getting juicy now. 
45. Fucking tell her Desire. You fucking tell her. These poor boneghosts. 
46. The fuck is The Lady gonna do when she has no more to ghosts to shed? What’s she gonna do when she actually has to face the consequences of her actions ?
47. If something happens to Pain I’ll riot. 
48. The Lady is really going to chirp off about something being unfair to her after the things she’s done? 
49. The balls on The Empress. Glad to have Charm back in charge tho. The Lady drives me batty. (59%)
50. Hrm. Don’t think it’s The Count behind this Lady. The wife perhaps, in cahoots with The Empress maybe. The Count seems to have too much self preservation for this foolishness. Eh, perhaps that will be his downfall. 
51. Woah there, a fucking baby? Did Luther know? The things The Lady has done to these poor boneghosts. 
52. Sauce for the goose indeed Luther. (63%)
53. Down three. Probably should have let Pride kill that pedo Prince there Charm. Also, maybe The Lady can pop on back out and make some skin contact with him while he’s out. 
54. Pfft. You were anything but a fucking good girl Lady. 
55. Pride is up to something. (69%)
56. Well that wasn’t what I thought she was up to at all. Will the Lady accept responsibility and pull herself together? Will Charm get a body or keep The Lady’s?  They are just a few bones short. 
57. I think my biggest problem with this book is The Lady. Gods I loathe her. It’s one thing to dislike a character, but I fucking hate The Lady with a passion. And that in itself says quite a lot about this story. 
58. Tuesday eh? It’s possible The Count is the smartest man in this whole damn book. Still not convinced he’s behind the death of The Old Emperor though. Man’s been making moves, but he’s a chess player with no time for jacks. 
59. And suddenly we are using Charmaine as a moniker. Interesting. 
60. Clearly The Empress and The Countess know nothing of The Lady. 
61. Wifey is being a fool now Count. I’m still not convinced he knows anything about what his wife and The Empress have done. (75%)
62. That’s a good observation there Charm. Are The Empress and The Countess lovers? Is The Countess just a jealous fueled bitch? Or did The Empress fall in love with Prince Strephon? Or better yet, does The Countess love Prince Strephon?
63. Oh pedo Prince, there is indeed a woman at the bottom of this. Idgaf about his little sob story, I hope this fucker burns, ya fucking cry baby. 
64. Finally the birthday masque. Now this should be interesting…
65. What on earth is The Empress up to? 
66. Oh The Countess and Prince Strephon eh? 
67. Don’t fall for The Lady’s tricks Charm. You don’t need a Courage. You are Courage. 
68. Wtf is Anders up to? 
69. Someone does want Prince Strephon and the power that comes with him being The Emperor. Question is, did he have anything to do with the design or was that all The Countess?(82%)
70. The fucking Count knows what’s up. Sly as a fox that one. 
71. That wasn’t exactly what I thought The Count knew. Get me a pitchfork for The Countess stat. 
72. Gods someone stab Luther in the eye before I vomit. What an ant of a man.
73. Prince Strephon is a fucking fool. 
74. Oh Hyacinth, you little seamstress you. (87%)
75. Yanno, it would serve the Lady right if Charm just disappeared and left her to deal with Strephon. It’s about time she cleaned up her own messes. 
76. That’s one mystery solved. 
77. There’s two. Pack this bitches bags and send her packing Charm.
78. And The Lady claimed too much air in the mixture was Prides’ cause of blindness. 
79. Aerleas is right about one thing, er two things. I’ll give him that. I mean, wrong way to go about a task but the man is insane after all. 
80. Absolutely brilliant. 

The Bone Orchard Review

The Bone Orchard was bloody brilliant but I wasn’t so sure I was going to actually like it at first. I have a very bad habit of not reading the synopsis of books with vibes I like. The Bone Orchard looked like something I would like. I went in as blind as Pride and was confused af in the beginning. And now, well, I’m honestly not sure if I have ever read a book quite as unique as The Bone Orchard.

I often read series and question the structure. Did the series really need to be four books, when three would suffice? Not so much with standalone novels. With The Bone Orchard though, I wonder if a duology could have suited the story better.

The night breeze off the sea riffled through the bone orchard, playing softly in the ghastly white fruits, making the solid ones clatter while the long bones chimed and fluted.

Heavy rain early on Monday morning washed Cathedral Square until the pale pink marble building shone like dawn, and the expanse of paving stones gleamed silvery in the morning sun.

…feeling his way through the words like a blind man in a strange room…

The bright white hair around her young white face had made her well known to local eyes. It warned away wise predators like the shocking colors on a poisonous frog.

“You’ll find that what you can bear increases a great deal when you are not offered any other choice.”

The mindlock caught, and the gears ground suddenly, like a pepper mill chewing in her brain until spots danced in front of her eyes.

Charm clawed her way out of the dark like dragging herself up the blade of a bone saw.

Cold rain spat a ragged staccato against the windows of Charm’s tower room as the boneghosts filed in silently behind Pain. Their whispering silks seemed only to accentuate their silence.

…but they perched like feathers; as if the next breath could send them tumbling into the air in dissarray.

Outside, the gaslights in the front of Bern Ostander’s shop lit the misty rain like silver threads against dark. They turned the scarlet coats of the Firedrinkers a deeper, bloody shade.

…a thin trickle of blood slid out from under Oram’s visor, shining against the gorget of his body armor. The white armor stained slowly crimson. The pistol wavered, trembling as he extended it.

The sluggish breeze that carried the salt tang up from the harbor tainted with the smell of ozone and charred meat. The crowd stirred like storm clouds, the low murmuring turning ugly.

Tears of helpless horror coursed down her cheeks as the people in the square fell like wheat before a reaper.

She tumbled loose in her own skull. Darkness closed over her.

Hot darkness lurked around the corners of her memory, but its incandescence was fading, and with that cooling there was a dreadful certainty.

Something down behind her mind slithered like a waking serpent.

Her red eyes almost glowed in the filtered light of the solarium.

Luther’s smile was cool enough to freeze a serpent’s heart.

Charm’s laugh stung savagely around the inside of the Lady’s brain like a storm of hornets.

The Lady’s eyes burned as if the could burst into flames within their sockets.

The reflected light enriched Charm’s brocade until the gold threads all but glowed and the oyster gray glimmered like tarnished tears.

The mindlock whirred, holding down her counterpart brutally as the delicate gears caught and held firm as a fortress wall.

Better wild grief than this meekness with no passion.

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